loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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