so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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