Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
