I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
