i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
