opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Found the puke drawer
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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