Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
