I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
even my farts smell like vagina
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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