You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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