blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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