Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
