We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
