she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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