I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
