What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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