a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize