Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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