I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
