Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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