I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
