Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize