Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
