C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
