he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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