theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
