we're blogging at a bar
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
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