His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
