the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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