Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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