Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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