Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize