evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
