i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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