just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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