I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
