I puked a lego.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
