went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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