things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
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