I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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