Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
