At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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