I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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