If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
