you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
