Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
