erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
