i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
