Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
