ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
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