do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
