also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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