you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
