so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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