Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
