things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
