I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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