clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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