cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
