awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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