I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
