Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
