Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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