I'm jealous of your bromance
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
