can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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