Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
What drink are we having for lunch?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
