If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I bet he comes in French.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
