I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
