We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
