The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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