did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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