Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
