Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
